Here’s a link to listen, if you like

Clutter Means Insecurity

Clutter has crept back in.

I have too many pens.  I’d have to write everything by hand for the next ten years to use them up, and by then I’ll have 300 more pens, stragglers from conferences I attend that somehow make their way into my purse.  “Just in case.”

My computer hard drive is no different:  all the mp3s and PDFs I’ve saved just in case I ever need the information.  But now there are hundreds, many poorly identified by file name, so I’d have to open each one to see what it is.

And despite round after round of unsubscribing from newsletters, my email box is out of control.  I can’t delete fast enough.  Between my online business, my offline consulting, my investments, my interests and my friends … disaster has struck.

Now my eyes scan the area around my desk.  I see organizers filled with file folders, neatly labeled for all the projects and businesses I’m running.  But they’re multiplying too.  Some projects are finished or abandoned and the files are actually just taking up space.

Speaking of paper, what’s that pile of papers growing on the corner of my desk?  I sort my mail when it comes in:  (1) into the trash; (2) to handle immediately; and (3) maybe interesting so “hold and decide.”  Aha, it’s that insidious “hold and decide.”

Okay, I haven’t even left my desk area and I’ve found five major “just in case” collections of stuff.

Yet I had successfully dealt with clutter earlier, after several passes during my journey from financial disaster to financial peace of mind.

Uh-oh.

What does this mean?

Along the way, I had already digitized whatever I could:  old cassettes (yes!), CDs, DVDs, photos and files of paperwork I rarely needed.  Then I pared that way down.  I cleared out my email box regularly.  Anything digital not used for 6 months got trashed.  (Except for tax stuff, of course.)

But I’ve been breaking my own rules.

I had fooled myself, believing that once I had dealt with my clutter issues, they’d be gone forever.  But they’ve crept back.  Why is that?

A long talk with myself this weekend gave me the answer.

As I created my version of “financial peace of mind,” I made some assumptions of how that would play out.  Today, all the big pieces are still in place, as planned.

But, for the past six months, I have struggled with how I wanted to build the part of my online business that was to be on autopilot.  I just couldn’t decide.  So … that minor piece of my puzzle was not on schedule.

And my old long-term insecurities kicked back in again, without me even noticing.  I had become a “what if-er” again.  Because we hold on to things when we feel insecure.

See how the subconscious mind works when it comes to money?  Mine was waving big red flags.

Now that I’m aware, I’ll make that part of my business a priority.  I have to make some decisions there … just as it takes decision-making to keep clutter out of my life.  I will:

•    Decide to give handfuls of pens to people who can use them.
•    Decide to delete all the mp3s and PDFs that don’t have direct application to what I’m doing “today.”
•    Decide to delete all the untouched emails and not subscribe to any new “just in case” temptations.
•    Decide to shred all documents not required for present projects or IRS justification.
•    Decide to limit myself to two mail-sorting categories:  (1) into the trash and (2) to handle immediately.

No more indecision.

Look around you right now.  Do you see any signs of clutter that could be pointing to an insecurity or two?  Take the time to identify the insecurity and to figure out how to turn that insecurity around.  And let us know in the comment section below, so others might have more hints of where to look for themselves.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers are shared in her posts, articles and an upcoming book. Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Here’s another shortcut: listen instead of reading …

Financial Peace of Mind: A Shortcut

My journey started in a dark place.  Mostly because of all the sleepless nights, pacing the house at 3 a.m., wondering how I’d ever get out from under the weight of the debt and demands.  I felt just one or two clicks above helpless.

Step by step, following lots of bunny trails and rabbit holes, I reached total financial peace of mind.

I can still go to a place in my head and relive each step I took, as if it were yesterday.  Trust me, it’s far better to be living in my today.  Especially because I’ve figured out a system that shortcuts the journey for others.

Now, traveling the country, the moment I tell anyone what I do (“I work with women who can’t get their finances in order and don’t know why…”), so often I see a look that says, “That’s me.”  And a frustrated, sometimes painful story follows.

Late last night I drove home from a conference where I saw “the look” again.  And again and again.  I decided I had to share three little … and very do-able … steps that can be your first steps (if that’s you too) on that journey towards financial peace of mind.

It’s what I wish for you.  And what you so dearly deserve.

Step One:  Kill One Gremlin

We all have memories embedded in our subconscious from childhood that mess with our behaviors.  Maybe it’s our weight.  Maybe it’s our money.  Or maybe it’s our relationships.   We know exactly what we have to do to take off a few pounds, for example, yet we just don’t do it.  Why, you ask?  Because of the same “gremlins” (as I call them) that keep us from different behaviors, including healthy money behaviors.

So, let’s find one and snuff it out.

Look honestly at any one thing you know you do with your money that is not helping you have a balanced financial life.

Maybe you don’t ask for more money from your clients, although you know everyone else charges more.   Which parent insinuated that you didn’t deserve to make more than he or she did?

Maybe you give in to your teenager’s every whim although it means you’ll go without something you actually need.  Whose actions led you to believe your tight finances today are your fault?  Maybe you learned (through your mother or grandmother) that women are expected to just grin and bear it, even if in a destructive marriage to a supposed “good man” that means no safety or healthy boundaries?

Maybe the brand names hanging in your closet outpace your income.  Who told you as a kid on the playground that you weren’t part of the popular group because you wore hand-me-downs?

In short:  who are you mad at?  Who do you resent?  Who diminished or disempowered you?  Figure that out related to a destructive money behavior, release the anger and let it go.  (And watch that behavior change.)

Step Two: Know Your Gap

Someday you’ll have to put together a careful spending plan if you want to really get your finances in order.

But for today, here’s a shortcut.  Add up your monthly income.  Add up your all your monthly expenses.  Look at the difference between the two.  That’s your gap.  And it may be negative.  If it is, it’s hard to embrace the total debt you’re under; it’s usually a really big number.  But look at the gap.  Is it $500?  Is it $300?  Is it $1,000?  What can you do to close that gap, either by cutting expenses back by that much, or by finding a way to earn that much more.  Or a combination of the two.

Knowing your gap and closing it will lower your financial stress markedly.   And that success will empower you to start digging further and further until you’re willing to really turn all your finances around.

Step Three:  “I Want That”

Usually that phrase would be another pitfall, another line item on your credit card statement.

But here we mean something different.  What is important enough to you to give you the incentive to change how you deal with your money?

Take a few minutes in a peaceful place, far from the television and from your home office.  Visualize something that you want to do or be, a lifestyle or activity that makes you feel fulfilled.  Go into great detail about what that looks like, almost in 3-D.  Then write it down.  Whenever you have a question about an expenditure or any other money-related decision, ask yourself if it will bring you closer to … or further away from … reaching that vision.

The Full Journey

The entire journey from wherever you are today to wherever you want to be financially is not a difficult one.  It’s a series of steps.  These are just three.  But they represent the three areas you’ll eventually need to address on that journey:  your emotional triggers, the actual numbers in your life and what motivates you.

Drop me a line in the comment section below and let me know if this helped you see how to start your journey towards that magical place:  financial peace of mind.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers are shared in her posts, articles and an upcoming book. Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Rather listen in under 4 minutes? Click the link:

Girls Can’t Add

It’s true that our parents and our teachers told us we didn’t have to bother our pretty little heads with things like arithmetic.  Besides, it would be harder for us to find a husband if we were too smart …

Sound familiar?  Well, this was a carryover from our mothers’ and grandmothers’ social reality, perhaps, but not ours.

However, traces of this nonsense still lingered when Baby Boomers were growing up, and it resulted in many girls turning off to math as teens.  The social pressures may have softened a bit over the years since then, but somehow the belief about women’s difficulty with numbers has persisted.

So a lot of women have thrown up their hands and declared it impossible for them to “do finances.”

They’ve claimed it was their biology … and that they were just reflecting  biological differences in the math aptitudes of boys and girls.

Turns out, instead the difference was almost entirely social.  In fact, we can forget biology, as “social equality” seems to be what plays a dominant role in any actual test results.

Here’s the proof:  PISA, or the Programme for International Student Assessment, is part of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD).   In 2006, over 275,000 15-year-old students in 40 countries took the PISA test.

Globally, girls did score 7 percent better in reading than boys and, on average, did 2 percent worse in math.  But the math gap wasn’t consistent.

It seems the math gap shifted depending on how much “social equality” existed in each country.  In Iceland, for example, the girls outscored the boys in math by 2 percent.  Yet in Turkey, boys outpaced girls in math by 4 percent.   The performance differences implied a direct correlation with the status of women, even if the correlation wasn’t perfect.

Now, the U.S. is a country where women enjoy a high social status.  Yet we continue to let this minute global difference hold us back.

Add to that excuse the myth that we have to be good at numbers in order to get control over our finances.  (And some women do use this myth as an excuse to not even try.)

One small detail:  we’re not talking about rocket science here.

The only exception would be if we’re into real sophisticated investments in our portfolios and we’re analyzing a beta coefficient, or risk factor.   But, short of that, everything we need to get control over our finances we learned before the sixth grade.  We can add, subtract, multiply and divide, can’t we?

So this myth is debunked!

On the other hand, it’s possible that the real resistance isn’t “being good at numbers,” but rather what the numbers might tell us.

Shelves of books exist on the role of self-worth, fear, blame, guilt and shame in people’s unwillingness to know where they stand financially.  We won’t go into all the details here, but everyone I’ve worked with has told me (once they were willing to get honest about their financial reality) that it was never as bad as they had imagined.

It rarely is.  But when we don’t know the truth about our numbers, we imagine the absolute worst.  And that paralyzes us.

Yet by knowing the numbers, they suddenly hold far less power over us.  Like magic.  They become just numbers.

So do you think it’s time to come out from behind the myths and get honest with what you own, what you owe, what you earn and what you spend?

Let me know in the comment section below if the “Girls Can’t Add” belief has kept you from getting real clarity on your numbers …

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers are shared in her posts, articles and an upcoming book. Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

If you’d rather listen than read, click the link:

Suze Orman and What About Me

Suze Orman sat quietly on stage this week in her butter yellow jacket, flanked on either side by seven other women and Tavis Smiley, the host.  The topic was “Made Visible: Women, Children and Poverty.”

Women of all stripes and colors … African American, Native American, Latina … told of the cultural and social obstacles each group of women faces.

When it came her turn to speak, Suze said, “…on some level, it is a woman’s nature to nurture.  And she, in my opinion, will nurture every single person, spouse, family member, pet, plant, employer, employee … before she will nurture herself.

“But it is not until a woman is about 50, 55 or 60, and she is all by herself, her spouse has left her, her children now are grown but still living in her house … that she finally starts to say ‘What about ME?’”

Suze Orman is singing my song!

In fact, AARP Financial Inc. discovered in a nationwide survey in 2009 that 65 percent of women between the ages of 40 and 79 had already faced a major life crisis.  These were identified as job loss, divorce, death of a spouse, serious illness or disability and, in most cases, their finances suffered a significant blow as a result.

The vulnerability triggered by such events is reflected in women’s concern about their financial future:  61 percent of the women in the survey admitted to being worried about having enough money for the rest of their lives.  Most telling, 35 percent of women have under $50,000 saved for retirement.

When I moved into that target age range of “over 50,” I watched my business crumble like a house of cards after 9-11.  That was my wake-up call to the fact that I would be totally unprepared for retirement if I didn’t figure out what was causing me to mistreat money as I had been doing, and squandering all the money I did make.

That was the start of a multi-year journey into understanding money.  (I was a finance expert, but not an expert at money.)   Fifty books and hundreds of interviews later … some casual and some formal … I was finally able to unravel the tightly wound ball we each create and call “our money.”

In hindsight, I realized there were three key questions that started that unraveling process around money:

1.     What do you believe?
2.     What do you have?
3.    What do you want?

These are grossly oversimplified.  But they truly are the secret key to getting money under control as they look at what beliefs you carry about money that are holding you back; what you actually have and actually owe today; and what you ultimately want in your life that money will make possible for you.

Each of these areas will be addressed in upcoming articles.

But until then, let me know in a comment below if you believe you are putting yourself first.  In short, in your own eyes, do you truly matter?

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her Over Fifty and Financially Free coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Maybe you’d rather listen? Click here:

Why Is It So Hard To Ask?

Twenty-four people are sitting in a high-level coaching session.

They are assigned a task:  that of breaking into groups of six and, within two hours, seeing how much money they can raise.  The rules of the game include not being able to leave the hotel where the session is being held and not using any of their own money.

Two hours passed.  What then unfolded was fascinating.

The first group got up and reported that they had selected a child from the Make-A-Wish Foundation and contacted the venues of everything that made up his wish.  They got the hotels and relevant companies to commit to freebies.  Then they went to their email, Facebook and other social media and got their friends and fans to commit to donating directly to the Make-A-Wish site.  All told, they raised over $4,000 in cash and kind.

The second group got up and announced that they could never even agree on a concept.  Instead, the exercise turned into a personal development session with all sorts of tears, breakthroughs and aha’s.  But no money.

The other two groups reported differing levels of success, landing somewhere between those two extremes.

Then the session leader revealed the purpose of the exercise:  “to test your ability to ask.”

To ask.  Sounds so simple.

But think about it.  How difficult is it for you to ask someone to pay you money they owe you?  Whether for services already rendered or money they borrowed.

How hard is it to ask for help when you need it?  Or how hard is it to ask someone for a favor?

Are we worried about being indebted to others?  Or being a burden?  Are we afraid we will be showing our weakness or vulnerability – our soft underbelly – if we don’t present an exterior of steel?

Think about how far our civilization has come.  For example, what ever happened to neighbor-helping-neighbor, as in the old days?  Do you remember hearing about the famous barn raisings, where an entire community came together and built a barn for a family?  Of course no chits were ever exchanged because they all knew that one day someone else would have a need, they would ask and the same community would meet the need with grace.

What are we so afraid of?

Are we afraid the person will say no to our request for help?  Well, that could happen.  But is it the end of the world?  There may be a perfectly logical reason why they’d have to say no in that specific instance that is no reflection whatsoever on our worth, ability or intelligence.

Are we afraid the person will think we’re only after their money if we ask them to look at our business venture or opportunity?  Well, that too could happen.  However, to not ask could mean we prevent them from accessing or getting involved with something that could bring them tremendous value … all because we were afraid.

What’s even  more important is that by not asking, we may be denying someone else the possibility of feeling really good about themselves.  After all, think about how good we usually feel when we can do something to help others.

Like the old barn raisings, we’re not meant to go through life doing everything alone.  But I admit that I have trouble asking for help and don’t  know how I would have handled the exercise.

So here’s what I intend to do next time I hesitate asking someone for something:  I will acknowledge that I am creating my own fear.  I’ll figure out how I’m scaring myself.  I’ll recognize that I’m adding layers of unnecessary negative ‘what ifs’ to what may be a perfectly positive interaction.  I won’t give in to the fear, but will be willing to feel it … and then take the action anyway.

What about you?  What would you have done had you been in one of the four groups?  Would you be willing to ask?

Let me know in the comments section below if you’ve ever even thought about this topic.  I know I hadn’t.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her Over Fifty and Financially Free coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Click on the link to listen:

Owning Your Money

A Blues musician I once lived with called it the ‘tude.  And he personified it.  When he walked into a room, without making any effort, conversations shifted and people looked up.  It was all about the energy he exuded.  The ‘tude.

He owned his space.  It didn’t own him.

How you handle your money is no different.

Either you own it.  Or it owns you.

What do I mean by “owning” your money?

It starts with taking responsibility for your financial situation.  And that’s all about the absence of excuses.

Can you have messed up royally?  Absolutely.  But own up to it.  And change it.

Here are some actions that will help you own your money.

1.  Stop hiding.  Women often have psychological issues with money, which come from childhood messaging.  But the beliefs that come from that messaging can be identified and released relatively easily.  Most of them are worn-out myths.  (If you haven’t read it yet, pick up the free report in the upper right hand corner of this page.)

The economic turmoil of 2008 should have shaken everyone up enough to break through any mental blocks.  Although there does seem to be more conversation and questioning about personal finances, too many women actually seem to feel they have even less control over their money than before.

Money is not a topic you can be timid around.  Granted, it takes commitment to break through whatever myths or mistaken beliefs are holding you back, but you do need to do it.

2.  Get comfortable.  Start learning some “money terminology” around things that are most relevant to today’s economy.  Visit sites like The Motley Fool.  Spend time digging around sites with all sorts of calculators, like Bankrate.

Even if at first it bores you to death, pick things to read about that seem somewhat familiar and you’ll suddenly see the pieces of the puzzle start to come together.  Understand inflation and what it does to anything you have in cash or savings.  Read about metals like gold and silver to decide if you’re comfortable putting a bit of your assets into one or the other.  Know enough about the housing market in your region to know what you should do about the home you own (if you do own one).  Know what your options are if you are upside down, that is, if your mortgage balance is greater than your house’s value today.  And know about types of mortgages that you might qualify for, if you could refinance.

In short, be prepared to carry on conversations with people around you:  those you might learn from or whose advice you might seek.  The world economy is not going to get any easier any time soon.  You cannot afford to be a non-player.  You have to be fully engaged in the conversation, or you’ll be left floating … and powerless.

3.  Find an advisor.  It doesn’t have to be a financial advisor, unless you’re ready for one.  But find a mentor who knows more than you do and pick her brain.  Join or form a money club where women can talk openly about money and learn as they go.  The learning you do will go a long way to building your personal confidence around money.

4.  Start saving and investing immediately (no matter how little money you have to start).   Get a savings account set up somewhere, maybe an online one to make it most convenient.  Also set up an IRA or a 401(k), ideally one that is funded regularly from somewhere automatically (whether from your salary or from a personal bank account).

Once it’s budgeted, you’ll be amazed how you can adjust your “needs” to be able to live without the money you’re setting aside.  Then, you’ll be surprised at how fast your savings accumulate when you just add to them and let the interest compound.  (Try some scenarios out on this calculator on the Bankrate site, using just 5 percent annual interest, compounded monthly, and you’ll see what I mean.)

The mere act of saving money has an almost magical empowering ability.  Maybe it comes from knowing you’re doing something for yourself, something to take care of yourself in the future.  Whatever it is, it contributes greatly to the ‘tude!

5.  Strut your stuff.  Once you have come out of hiding, have learned to talk about money, have found someone you can turn to when you need input and have money in the bank … you’ve got ‘tude.  Suddenly people are more willing to do business with you.  Others will invest more in you.  Your boss is willing to pay you more money.  And so on.

You are more self-sufficient.  And independent.

You own your money.

Let me know in the comments below what part of this you find the most challenging.  And let’s see how to get you past it!
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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

If you’d rather listen than read, click here:

Continuity, the Hidden Key to Financial Security

I went to a party last night.

As I walked in, I immediately sensed a high energy level … yet, behind it, an interesting calm.

This morning it struck me where that calm came from.

A large number of the people there were military friends of the host, a military man himself.

The air was filled with bravado, a masculine strength that comes from testosterone no doubt, but also from a sense of assuredness.

So where does that assuredness come from?

Well, it made me think of an article I had read before going to the party, by Forbes staff writer Jenna Goudreau.  Her article is entitled “Careers Headed For The Dustbin.”  In it she cites the twenty jobs the Bureau of Labor Statistics predicts will disappear in the next several years.

Now add to this mix a conversation I had at the party with a realtor who specializes in Miami waterfront properties.  We talked about what has changed in the industry because of all the internet listings, and then moved on to what is really affecting how a realtor interacts with clients:  all the foreclosures and short sales.  She cited “doing everything right,” focusing on the real needs of clients and providing them critical information on what the new banking and mortgage rules require.  Yet she sounded frustrated.

It dawned on me that her frustration came from the fact that, in the end, she has no control over the outcome of the transaction.  Despite doing every right, nothing she can say or do guarantees that the client will make a decision that benefits her.

Control.  Control over our lives.  That’s what these three threads have in common.

We all hear that some of our military men and women are grossly underpaid for what they do.  And, frankly, I think that’s inexcusable.  And they do face some unknowns, such as where their next posting or deployment might be.  And some face the greatest unknown of all:  will they be killed as a result of the career they have chosen.

But they have the knowledge that they won’t be fired.  They won’t be “let go.”  Whatever it is they get financially, too little or enough, it is reliable.  They can plan around it.  They can count on continuity.  And that leads to the underlying assuredness I felt in that room.

As for the realtor, as someone who lives by the commissions she earns, she is totally at the mercy of decisions made far away … at the level of the national economy.  She has to react to how the market reacts to how well the economy is reacting to decisions made by presidents, congressmen, congresswomen and people in the top echelons of the financial world.  React … react … react.  She has no continuity.

As for all the people whose livelihoods come from the twenty “jobs” listed in Jenna Goudreau’s article, including anything related to agriculture, to unskilled manufacturing or to things made obsolete by technology, they too have no continuity.

As an entrepreneur, I am surrounded by people who have taken their futures into their own hands by starting their own businesses.  But even having made that choice, what’s important is to be keenly aware of how much control they have over their future.  Does their business have momentum and can they count on ongoing income?  Do they have that added competitive advantage that gives them a good idea of how their business will grow?  Do they have a healthy relationship with money that insists on them making solid business choices?  Do they have continuity?

In my own case, I know how different I felt when my businesses were built on debt and were solely dependent on getting the next consulting gig or project.  Every day started with a pit in my stomach.  My expenses were high and my income was erratic.  If you’ve read my story, you know I had to hit the wall financially before I understood that my problem was not whether or not my business model was viable.  Yes, I had to get my expenses under control and change my lifestyle.  But the big discovery came from examining how I dealt with my money.

How do I know that?  Well, because after getting clear on my money issues, I went back to the identical business model and it has led me to financial security.  To assuredness.  To continuity.  To knowing I’ll be okay, no matter what.

So I have a question for you.  How do you wake up in the morning?  Do you wake up cheerfully, looking forward to the day knowing that you’re building your future security?  Or is your cheerfulness a tool you’ve chosen to use to egg yourself on … although you know in the pit of your stomach that your future is at risk?

I honor the efforts made by everyone around me to hustle and strive and learn and grow.  But I just want to be sure you’re asking yourself the right question, so you know if you’re placing your energy … and your hopes … on the right thing.

You know the answer.  And if it’s anything other that a resounding “Yes, I’m on track towards financial security,” the time to get honest is now.  Every day is important.  This is a time of such volatility in the world.  But that doesn’t excuse not making any changes that will right the direction of your journey.

Let me know below how you feel about this question.  And if you think anyone you know could benefit from asking it, be sure to click on the “Like” button so you share with them.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Rather listen than read? Click below:

What You REALLY Want

Last week I wrote about the nine steps it takes to “Play Big.”  The first one, which actually relates to virtually every one of us, was “Take your head out of the sand.”

I’m going to assume that you did.

So, now that you’ve taken your head out of the sand, are you ready to draw a line in the sand?

Follow along with me.

Most people today don’t know what they really want.  They think they do.  They can make a list of things they’d buy if they could.  They know what they’d do with a million bucks if they won the lottery.  They know the house they’d buy if they got lucky and their businesses shot off the charts.

But is that what they really want?  Or is it what they think they want?  You see …

A recent Texas A&M study says a person is bombarded by 850 commercial messages a day, on average.”

So, much of what fills people’s wish lists is driven by “externals,” by what they see and hear about.  From TV, ads on smart phones, websites, billboards, from what friends have or talk about.  I know, I know.  It sounds so superficial…

Why?  Because it is.

By keeping people’s wish lists long, advertisers know they can keep them in a perpetual state of discontent.  They never have enough.  There’s always a newer iPad, a thinner mobile device, a sleeker car, hotter jeans.  Better … faster … cooler … more awesome.

Are you thinking “hamster on a wheel” yet?

Want to know how to get off?

Stop.

Sit quietly with a pad of paper and list everything you think you want.  Do a brain dump.  List absolutely everything you can think of.  Be sure to also take the time to go inside and look at what’s most important to you.  What will bring you joy not just in the short term, but also feed into later joy?  What touches your core, your values?  Don’t write down what you think you should want.  This is your secret list.

Once you’re done, start picking out any two things on the list.  Decide which of the two is more important to you and cross off the other one.

Do that until you have just three things left on your list.

These three are the things that will bring you the greatest happiness when you achieve them.  It doesn’t matter what they are; everyone’s three will be different.  But they are what will truly drive you to achieve.  And everything else on the list (all those things you crossed off) should be things you would gladly sacrifice in order to obtain or achieve your special three.

Now it’s time to draw the proverbial line in the sand.

For each of the three, set a deadline of when you could reasonably fulfill them, whatever they are.  Stretch yourself a bit.  Write the three things, plus their deadlines, on a clean piece of paper and save it somewhere.  And make a commitment to yourself that, come hell or high water, you are going to meet those deadlines.

Then get ready for the obstacles.  Expect things to go wrong.  If you fall down, get back up, brush off your shins and keep going.

Nothing really important comes easy.

By the way, no one needs to know what’s on your short list.

But as you obtain or achieve them, one by one, you will understand what real fulfillment is.  You’ll understand priorities.  You’ll know what focus is.

And you’ll be infinitely happier than the people still chasing every shiny object thrown in their path.

Then you can either pity them, or share this little exercise with them.

I think I know which one you’ll do.

(Let me know below …)

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Rather listen than read?  Click the link below:

How to Truly Play Big

I always disliked the expression “put on your big girl panties” and I’m not quite sure why.  Maybe because it just felt a little demeaning.

But, the more I look at our economy, the more I realize that the government is not going to provide the solution.  So we each have to take personal responsibility for triggering its jump-start.  And what that phrase says, when we don’t have our big girl panties on, is that we’re still acting from a place of dependence.  Of little girl excuse-making.

If you’re a regular reader of mine, you know my stand on personal responsibility.  Well, here’s another take on it.

A few nights ago, I heard an interview with a guy from Goldman Sachs.  I normally think of them as the bad guys, for the role they played in helping topple the economy in 2008. But this guy in particular was worth listening to.  Jim O’Neill is the CEO of Asset Management for them.  He and Charlie Rose were discussing where the world economy – as well as ours – is going.

In talking about Europe, O’Neill mentioned that one of the biggest problems Italy has is that only 40% of its women are involved in economic activity and that the brain power, the IQ power of women in that country is being wasted.

It made me stop and think of the role of women in the world economy … and in ours.  It made me realize that if any of us is playing small, then we’re not putting out our full woman brain power … woman IQ … woman ability … woman power in general.

If ever there was a time, this is a time when we do need to play big.  We have the ability to make a difference in our economy.  The sum of the parts – the efforts of millions of women – can get this economy going.  Bit by bit.  Day by day.  But we have to get past our own head stuff.

Anything we have that’s holding us back ultimately holds everything back.  I’m not saying that we’re the cause of the problem … but I’m saying we can be the solution to the problem.

So I’m going to look in more detail at the same nine steps I wrote about in last week’s article entitled “Time to Stop Playing Small” and how those steps can help you “Play Big.”  I hope you’re in this with me, because I think we can be the real hope and change.

1.    Get your head out of the sand:  Accept that you are an intrinsic part of the economy, even if just one cog in the wheel.  (Each cog counts!)  If nothing has changed in what you’ve been doing for the last three or four years, it’s time to look at it now.

2.    Get real about your life and your money:  Most people are living in some fantasy world and have not looked honestly at what’s important and what’s not in their lives.  If that’s your case, you’re basically running on automatic.  Same goes for your money.  If you don’t know exactly how much you make and how much you spend, you’re not being honest.

3.    Stop procrastinating or lying to yourself:  We’re talking about today.  Not tomorrow.  If you’ve had plans you haven’t implemented, or if you’ve talked for ages about something you wanted to change and haven’t yet, now’s the time to change it.  Look at what you’re doing with your time and energy.  If you’re not playing full on, you’re either dragging your heels or not being truthful.  It’s time to stop that.

4.    Ignore what anyone says you can or can’t do:  No one knows you as well as you do.  (Any outside opinion is just that: an opinion.)  And only you know how badly you want to do something.  If it’s important to you, ignore everyone.  Dream as big as you want … and then move to make the dream a reality.

5.    Figure out where you want to be:  It’s about the “vision thing.”  Get very specific and very visual about what you want an hour, a day, a week and a month to look like in your ideal life.  Live it in your mind’s eye.  Feel how it feels.  Let the emotion be a driver for you.

6.    Put together a step-by-step plan to get there:  Get clear on what the gap looks like between where you are and where you want to be.  Then chunk that journey down into do-able pieces.  And write them down so you always know what to do next.

7.    Get help if you need it:  If you’re tripping over how you handle money, find an adviser or a program that can remove any fears or obstacles.  If it’s a skill you’re missing, find an adult education class.  Tap into all your friends and acquaintances by asking for advice if you think they know what you want to know.  Help is available and does not have to cost a fortune.

8.    Take the first steps:  Don’t focus on the entire journey.  It may overwhelm you.  If the first steps look easy but the steps later on scare you, just focus on the early ones.  By the time you get to the later ones, they most likely won’t scare you any more.

9.    And keep going:  Find someone to share your plan with.  Ask that person to be an accountability buddy for you.  But be sure that person believes in your dream, wants you to succeed and won’t be threatened by any change you want in your life.  And be sure to make them part of the celebration as you complete each step.

Now congratulate yourself.

You’re about to start playing big!

Drop me a note below and let me know what you’re already doing to be sure you’re in your big girl panties …

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Click below if you’d rather listen

Stop Playing Small

This will be short and sweet.  Because it’s a topic that makes me so angry, I think I should limit myself to as few words as possible.

But I have to say something.

Last week I posted an article on Facebook that I had read in Forbes Online entitled “Why Do Women Round Down When Men Round Up?” by Forbes staffer Jenna Goudreau.  Her premise was that, whereas men stretch numbers (and everything else in life) upward, we women shrink everything down.  Including our qualities and capabilities.

This was based on a piece out of Harvard Business Review insinuating that women in all professional settings are held back by this tendency to minimize our talents, skills and experience. The conclusion was that we focus on the glass half empty, rather than the glass half full.  We are afraid … to make mistakes, look dumb or fall short of being perfect.

Valerie Young, Ed.D, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, concludes that “Being female means you and your work automatically stand a greater chance of being ignored, discounted, trivialized, devalued or otherwise taken less seriously than a man’s.”

I say that, by the time you’re in your 40s or 50s, hopefully you’re long past what to me sounds like self-victimization.  “Woe is me.  I wasn’t good at math.  I have no control over my own destiny.  I have to accept the crumbs that are left to me.”

You do have choices in life.  You can either buy into what’s being perpetuated in the media or you can decide that it doesn’t pertain to you.

And here’s why it’s particularly important to straighten out your attitude soon.  (If not yesterday.)

Unless you’re already financially secure for life, it’s time to stop playing small.  Time to “get real.”  No one is going to come save you.  It’s up to you to figure out what you need to live today and what you’ll need in the future.  It’s time to get real about what you have and what you don’t.  What’s important to you and what’s not.  (Protect what’s important and shed the rest.)

Nothing in the U.S. or the world economy indicates that we’re on a path to great economic improvement or growth.  Nor will we be seeing “pre-2007” conditions again for the foreseeable future.

This does not mean there are no opportunities out there.  They just don’t look like they used to, and you’ll have to be more creative to unearth them.  But they’re there.

So, especially if you don’t have a decade or two to waste before starting to get serious about your future finances, my recommendations are the following for anyone not already set for life:

1.    Get your head out of the sand.
2.    Get real about your life and your money.
3.    Stop procrastinating or lying to yourself.
4.    Ignore what anyone says you can or can’t do.
5.    Figure out where you want to be.
6.    Put together a step-by-step plan to get there.
7.    Get help if you need it.
8.    Take the first steps.
9.    And keep going.

Let me know in the comment section below what, if anything, is keeping you from taking these steps to the financial freedom you so deserve.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.