Rather listen than read? Click below:

What You REALLY Want

Last week I wrote about the nine steps it takes to “Play Big.”  The first one, which actually relates to virtually every one of us, was “Take your head out of the sand.”

I’m going to assume that you did.

So, now that you’ve taken your head out of the sand, are you ready to draw a line in the sand?

Follow along with me.

Most people today don’t know what they really want.  They think they do.  They can make a list of things they’d buy if they could.  They know what they’d do with a million bucks if they won the lottery.  They know the house they’d buy if they got lucky and their businesses shot off the charts.

But is that what they really want?  Or is it what they think they want?  You see …

A recent Texas A&M study says a person is bombarded by 850 commercial messages a day, on average.”

So, much of what fills people’s wish lists is driven by “externals,” by what they see and hear about.  From TV, ads on smart phones, websites, billboards, from what friends have or talk about.  I know, I know.  It sounds so superficial…

Why?  Because it is.

By keeping people’s wish lists long, advertisers know they can keep them in a perpetual state of discontent.  They never have enough.  There’s always a newer iPad, a thinner mobile device, a sleeker car, hotter jeans.  Better … faster … cooler … more awesome.

Are you thinking “hamster on a wheel” yet?

Want to know how to get off?

Stop.

Sit quietly with a pad of paper and list everything you think you want.  Do a brain dump.  List absolutely everything you can think of.  Be sure to also take the time to go inside and look at what’s most important to you.  What will bring you joy not just in the short term, but also feed into later joy?  What touches your core, your values?  Don’t write down what you think you should want.  This is your secret list.

Once you’re done, start picking out any two things on the list.  Decide which of the two is more important to you and cross off the other one.

Do that until you have just three things left on your list.

These three are the things that will bring you the greatest happiness when you achieve them.  It doesn’t matter what they are; everyone’s three will be different.  But they are what will truly drive you to achieve.  And everything else on the list (all those things you crossed off) should be things you would gladly sacrifice in order to obtain or achieve your special three.

Now it’s time to draw the proverbial line in the sand.

For each of the three, set a deadline of when you could reasonably fulfill them, whatever they are.  Stretch yourself a bit.  Write the three things, plus their deadlines, on a clean piece of paper and save it somewhere.  And make a commitment to yourself that, come hell or high water, you are going to meet those deadlines.

Then get ready for the obstacles.  Expect things to go wrong.  If you fall down, get back up, brush off your shins and keep going.

Nothing really important comes easy.

By the way, no one needs to know what’s on your short list.

But as you obtain or achieve them, one by one, you will understand what real fulfillment is.  You’ll understand priorities.  You’ll know what focus is.

And you’ll be infinitely happier than the people still chasing every shiny object thrown in their path.

Then you can either pity them, or share this little exercise with them.

I think I know which one you’ll do.

(Let me know below …)

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Rather listen than read?  Click the link below:

How to Truly Play Big

I always disliked the expression “put on your big girl panties” and I’m not quite sure why.  Maybe because it just felt a little demeaning.

But, the more I look at our economy, the more I realize that the government is not going to provide the solution.  So we each have to take personal responsibility for triggering its jump-start.  And what that phrase says, when we don’t have our big girl panties on, is that we’re still acting from a place of dependence.  Of little girl excuse-making.

If you’re a regular reader of mine, you know my stand on personal responsibility.  Well, here’s another take on it.

A few nights ago, I heard an interview with a guy from Goldman Sachs.  I normally think of them as the bad guys, for the role they played in helping topple the economy in 2008. But this guy in particular was worth listening to.  Jim O’Neill is the CEO of Asset Management for them.  He and Charlie Rose were discussing where the world economy – as well as ours – is going.

In talking about Europe, O’Neill mentioned that one of the biggest problems Italy has is that only 40% of its women are involved in economic activity and that the brain power, the IQ power of women in that country is being wasted.

It made me stop and think of the role of women in the world economy … and in ours.  It made me realize that if any of us is playing small, then we’re not putting out our full woman brain power … woman IQ … woman ability … woman power in general.

If ever there was a time, this is a time when we do need to play big.  We have the ability to make a difference in our economy.  The sum of the parts – the efforts of millions of women – can get this economy going.  Bit by bit.  Day by day.  But we have to get past our own head stuff.

Anything we have that’s holding us back ultimately holds everything back.  I’m not saying that we’re the cause of the problem … but I’m saying we can be the solution to the problem.

So I’m going to look in more detail at the same nine steps I wrote about in last week’s article entitled “Time to Stop Playing Small” and how those steps can help you “Play Big.”  I hope you’re in this with me, because I think we can be the real hope and change.

1.    Get your head out of the sand:  Accept that you are an intrinsic part of the economy, even if just one cog in the wheel.  (Each cog counts!)  If nothing has changed in what you’ve been doing for the last three or four years, it’s time to look at it now.

2.    Get real about your life and your money:  Most people are living in some fantasy world and have not looked honestly at what’s important and what’s not in their lives.  If that’s your case, you’re basically running on automatic.  Same goes for your money.  If you don’t know exactly how much you make and how much you spend, you’re not being honest.

3.    Stop procrastinating or lying to yourself:  We’re talking about today.  Not tomorrow.  If you’ve had plans you haven’t implemented, or if you’ve talked for ages about something you wanted to change and haven’t yet, now’s the time to change it.  Look at what you’re doing with your time and energy.  If you’re not playing full on, you’re either dragging your heels or not being truthful.  It’s time to stop that.

4.    Ignore what anyone says you can or can’t do:  No one knows you as well as you do.  (Any outside opinion is just that: an opinion.)  And only you know how badly you want to do something.  If it’s important to you, ignore everyone.  Dream as big as you want … and then move to make the dream a reality.

5.    Figure out where you want to be:  It’s about the “vision thing.”  Get very specific and very visual about what you want an hour, a day, a week and a month to look like in your ideal life.  Live it in your mind’s eye.  Feel how it feels.  Let the emotion be a driver for you.

6.    Put together a step-by-step plan to get there:  Get clear on what the gap looks like between where you are and where you want to be.  Then chunk that journey down into do-able pieces.  And write them down so you always know what to do next.

7.    Get help if you need it:  If you’re tripping over how you handle money, find an adviser or a program that can remove any fears or obstacles.  If it’s a skill you’re missing, find an adult education class.  Tap into all your friends and acquaintances by asking for advice if you think they know what you want to know.  Help is available and does not have to cost a fortune.

8.    Take the first steps:  Don’t focus on the entire journey.  It may overwhelm you.  If the first steps look easy but the steps later on scare you, just focus on the early ones.  By the time you get to the later ones, they most likely won’t scare you any more.

9.    And keep going:  Find someone to share your plan with.  Ask that person to be an accountability buddy for you.  But be sure that person believes in your dream, wants you to succeed and won’t be threatened by any change you want in your life.  And be sure to make them part of the celebration as you complete each step.

Now congratulate yourself.

You’re about to start playing big!

Drop me a note below and let me know what you’re already doing to be sure you’re in your big girl panties …

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve … if they’re willing to do what it takes!

Click below if you’d rather listen

Stop Playing Small

This will be short and sweet.  Because it’s a topic that makes me so angry, I think I should limit myself to as few words as possible.

But I have to say something.

Last week I posted an article on Facebook that I had read in Forbes Online entitled “Why Do Women Round Down When Men Round Up?” by Forbes staffer Jenna Goudreau.  Her premise was that, whereas men stretch numbers (and everything else in life) upward, we women shrink everything down.  Including our qualities and capabilities.

This was based on a piece out of Harvard Business Review insinuating that women in all professional settings are held back by this tendency to minimize our talents, skills and experience. The conclusion was that we focus on the glass half empty, rather than the glass half full.  We are afraid … to make mistakes, look dumb or fall short of being perfect.

Valerie Young, Ed.D, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, concludes that “Being female means you and your work automatically stand a greater chance of being ignored, discounted, trivialized, devalued or otherwise taken less seriously than a man’s.”

I say that, by the time you’re in your 40s or 50s, hopefully you’re long past what to me sounds like self-victimization.  “Woe is me.  I wasn’t good at math.  I have no control over my own destiny.  I have to accept the crumbs that are left to me.”

You do have choices in life.  You can either buy into what’s being perpetuated in the media or you can decide that it doesn’t pertain to you.

And here’s why it’s particularly important to straighten out your attitude soon.  (If not yesterday.)

Unless you’re already financially secure for life, it’s time to stop playing small.  Time to “get real.”  No one is going to come save you.  It’s up to you to figure out what you need to live today and what you’ll need in the future.  It’s time to get real about what you have and what you don’t.  What’s important to you and what’s not.  (Protect what’s important and shed the rest.)

Nothing in the U.S. or the world economy indicates that we’re on a path to great economic improvement or growth.  Nor will we be seeing “pre-2007” conditions again for the foreseeable future.

This does not mean there are no opportunities out there.  They just don’t look like they used to, and you’ll have to be more creative to unearth them.  But they’re there.

So, especially if you don’t have a decade or two to waste before starting to get serious about your future finances, my recommendations are the following for anyone not already set for life:

1.    Get your head out of the sand.
2.    Get real about your life and your money.
3.    Stop procrastinating or lying to yourself.
4.    Ignore what anyone says you can or can’t do.
5.    Figure out where you want to be.
6.    Put together a step-by-step plan to get there.
7.    Get help if you need it.
8.    Take the first steps.
9.    And keep going.

Let me know in the comment section below what, if anything, is keeping you from taking these steps to the financial freedom you so deserve.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

Rather listen? Give me 5 little minutes …

Relationship With Money

We throw the word “money” around with very little thought.

And that could be costing you big time.

As we go into this next year, it’s more important than ever to get a real close (in fact “intimate”) relationship with your money.  Not something you keep at arm’s length.  But instead, something that, if you personified it, you could have sitting across the table from you, sharing a cup of tea or a cold beer.  A friend, an ally, someone who has your back.

Okay, that may sound crazy.  But I can’t think of another way to get you to understand that you can’t be financially free or secure if you think of money as your enemy.  Or if you ignore it like that unused workout equipment that’s sitting hidden in your garage.

So I’d like you to take a little time to think through the questions I’m going to ask about different associations we all have with money.  If you answer honestly, you’ll soon know where the sticking points are in how you relate to your money.  And where you might want to do some work so you have a fighting chance to make 2012 a positive year rather than one where you tread water or, worse yet, fall further behind.

Security:  Did your family have trouble meeting its bills and did it ever make you feel insecure about your home life?  Or did you know you’d always be safe, no matter what?  Can you cover all your bills comfortably today?  Do you save for a rainy day?  Looking way forward, how much thought have you given to how you’re going to actually pay for all the years you’ll be retired, whether by choice or forcefully?  Have you done any calculations?  Do you have a plan in place?  Are you following that plan?  Or are you ignoring the topic altogether?

Freedom:  How do you define being “financially free?”  What does it mean to you?  Do you avoid the question because you feel trapped in the lifestyle and debt you’re carrying today?  Do you have a clear vision of what “financially free” looks and feels like?  Do you know what that will cost?  Have you put together a plan of how you’re going to get there?

Love:  What are your money expectations when you enter into (or stay in) a personal relationship?  Does love conquer all in a relationship?  Or does money have the power to make or break one?  Are you still waiting to be rescued?  Did you ever equate whether your parents spent money on you with whether or not they loved you?  Did your family have a lot of money and you often wondered if your friends liked you or liked all the nice things you had?

Acceptance:  Do you compare yourself with others around you and feel they judge you in any way?  Do you remember ever being teased at school because of where you lived or how you dressed?  Or do you worry that if you make too much money you’ll no longer by loved and liked by your family and friends?  Or do you feel you need to earn a lot of money for people to think highly of you?

Control:  Did either of your parents give you money or withhold things from you to get you to behave in a certain way?  Have you had boyfriends or a husband who used money to control you?  Have you ever hidden some spending from a partner because you were afraid of the consequences?  Have you ever used money to control your children, including paying their bills in order to keep them close?

Power:  Did your parents argue about money and did you feel the one who lost the argument was the weaker of the two?  Do you open and review all bills and statements?  Or do you relinquish your power to the fear that comes from not knowing where you stand?  Do you feel driven to amass large amounts of money in order to feel powerful?

Status:  Do you purchase things because of what others will think of you if you have them?  Do you drive a car you can’t really afford?  Do you live in a house that’s in keeping with your present income and circumstances, or does it drain a disproportionate amount of your income?

One thing you should know:  there are no right or wrong answers.  Any behaviors that we’re not proud of typically result from how we were raised and what we were taught … or not taught.

So just take note of where you got a little twinge of discomfort as you answered.  Know that it’s a place where your relationship with money is less than direct or clear.  Examine it.  Question where it might have come from.  Change it.

We’re all masters of our own destiny, you know.

Money has no innate power of its own.  But it can either be something you have a healthy use for … or it can act as a roadblock because of the emotional energy you have imbued it with.

It’s entirely up to you.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

Rather listen than read?  Click here:

Personal Responsibility

I thought the rules about finances didn’t pertain to me.  They were for “other people.”

I knew all about numbers.  I had been raised in a family where we were involved in my Dad’s businesses from early on.  At 13, I worked at his iron ore mine in the interior of Brazil.  I monitored and recorded how much ore was loaded in each railroad car before it left on its journey from Mariana, Minas Gerais, to the port and on to some foreign steel mill.

By then our family had already gone from “extremely comfortable” because of my father’s business successes … to dead broke because he took his eye off the ball and his local partner cleaned him out.  I already knew about scrubbing the bottles I gathered at a construction site in Alexandria, Virginia, in order to collect the 2-cent deposit.  (You see, the grocery store next door to the Rexall on the corner only accepted clean bottles.)  That was my allowance.  And I knew about my $5 Christmas money from my grandmother going towards paying for the fridge.

So I knew numbers.

Twenty years into my own career, with an MBA from the Wharton School of Finance under my belt, I found myself dead broke too.

Somehow, despite everything I knew about finance, I didn’t think I needed to follow the same rules I set out for my consulting clients.

I’ve talked elsewhere about how I lost everything.  And about how that triggered deep introspection and research to understand what had gone wrong.  (And how to “right” it.  Which I did.)

Today, after working with so many women whose upbringing and lack of financial education have kept them vulnerable, I’m very clear about a growing challenge facing our nation.  It’s something that has woven its way throughout my writings more and more this past year.  It’s something that has to be in place in order to successfully change one’s financial situation.

And that “something” is personal responsibility.

Time after time, I’d see that personal responsibility is the one differentiating factor between those women who succeed in turning their finances around and those who don’t.  Those who succeed do not consider themselves victims.  They do not assume they are “entitled” to things.  And they don’t make excuses for themselves.  Instead, they look honestly at their behaviors, determine those that are detrimental, “own” them, work to change them bit by bit, use every tool that’s handed them … and go on to thrive.

As we enter 2012, I realize that it’s no different for our country.

I see a country that is deep in debt, not “earning” enough (in tax revenues) and spending too much.  Not saving.  Not investing wisely.  I see a government that blames the situation on everything but itself, as if it were a victim.  I see a government that promotes entitlement, thereby diluting the personal responsibility of its players and its citizens even more.  I see a government that refuses to accept any blame and thrives on excuses.  And I see a government that is not going to play any role in the foreseeable future to change much of anything, regardless of what party plays what role.

So what are our options as individuals?

The mantle of personal responsibility has to settle on us.  We’ll have to get ourselves out of our own messes.  If the best aspects of “exceptionalism” that this country is known for are going to survive, and even thrive, it will be because as a people we choose to thrive.

By taking responsibility for our own debt, our own spending and our own investing for the future – by not counting on some government program to jumpstart the economy or supplement our income – we’ll take care of ourselves.  And, in the aggregate, we’ll move our country forward.

You’ve probably heard a phrase made famous by John F. Kennedy: “a rising tide lifts all boats.”  Well, surprise, surprise, looks like it’s up to us to provide the water.

So … here’s to thriving in 2012 … because of who we are.

Let me know in the comments below if you agree …

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

In case you’d rather listen, click here:

Forget Resolutions: Countdown to Twenty-Twelve

The holidays have peaked.  You’re sitting back, basking in the warmth of family joy.  There are leftovers in the fridge, and bags of torn wrappings for the garbage pickup.  (“Hmmm, there must be a more environmental way … but the kids do love to tear off that paper …”)

All the planning, all the adrenaline build-up, all the checklists made for a perfect couple of days.  Except that little glitch, of course, you know the one.  (There’s always one.  What was it this year?)

Your emotions ricochet between satisfaction and exhaustion and relief.  It’s over.  We made it past this first phase of the holidays.  Done.

Now starts the countdown to Twenty-Twelve.

This last third of December comes under some sort of “fantasy umbrella.”  Rules are broken.  We allow ourselves little no-no’s, and then say we’ll make up for them in the New Year.  And, after the tough year some of us have had, maybe we really deserve the respite.

But I challenge you to fit one new piece into the countdown to New Year’s.

Sure, you’re thinking of how you’re going to usher in the New Year.  Where you’ll go, what you’ll do, what you’ll wear, and if those holiday pounds will show.  Or, how to make that sensible stay-at-home celebration meaningful.  No, not meaningful.  Glorious!

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re also thinking “resolutions.”  Everyone is.  And everyone knows very few resolutions ever make it past January 5th.

So this year I propose a new little challenge.

In the next few days leading to the New Year, write down the five things you wish had been different in 2011.  Maybe you already know what they are and can write them down right now.  Maybe you need to let the task simmer in your brain for a few days, and let them come to the fore one by one.

By sometime around December 30th, be sure you have your list of five things.  Sit down over a cup of tea or coffee, somewhere quiet, and think of the opposite of each of those five things.

•    “I wish I didn’t have to work so hard and had more time for my family” becomes “I put in reasonable work hours and have more time for my family.”
•    “I wish it weren’t so hard to close out each month because my income is too small” becomes “It’s easy to close out each month because my income is large.”
•    “I wish I weren’t so tired all the time from carrying this extra weight” becomes “I’m full of energy because my weight is in a healthy range.”

Write them on a clean piece of paper.

At the top of the page, write “What 2012 Will Bring Me.”  Make it fancy.  Make it simple.  Do whatever you want, but “make it.”

Post your intentions for the year somewhere where you see them all the time:  over your computer, on the fridge door, in your top desk drawer.

Goals are supposed to be real specific:  losing 25 pounds, earning $35,000 more, for example.  But that’s how resolutions get broken, and then abandoned.

Instead of defining exactly how and what you’ll do, you’ve plotted out your direction for the year.  Your subconscious now knows what you want.  And each time you have a decision to make, looking at your list will help you decide which way to go.

I bet by the end of 2012 you’ll find you’ve made some major strides on some of the things you said you want.

Give it a try.  It’s infinitely better than making … and breaking … resolutions.  As we all do.

And, if you’d like to post one or two of your intentions in the comment section below (after all, some are too private to post!), please do so.  It might be just the incentive someone else needs!

Here’s to making Twenty-Twelve a truly stellar year!

Rather listen than read? Click here:

Holidays So What’s YOUR Normal

The holidays are almost here.  Despite the hubbub and flurry of activity, it can be a time of introspection for some, whether they’re in the middle of all the activity or not.

You may have heard that higher levels of depression, anxiety and suicide are somehow linked to the holidays.  The media brings up the “holiday blues” each year.  But they’re mistaken.  Experts from the Harvard Medical School find no such link.  In fact, they report research findings from various sources that prove that such statistics actually drop during the winter months.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not tempted to compare and contrast this season with other ones in the past.  And the comparison may be positive or negative.

If this season compares positively, bravo!  But if it compares negatively, here are just a few of the reasons we hear:

•    Times are tough, not quite what they used to be, and gifting will be pretty skimpy this year.

•    We’ll go through the paces of all the trappings, the extravagant gourmet meals and piles of presents under the tree … while we dread the January credit card statements.

•    Christmases weren’t so great when we were kids, maybe even a time of higher-than-usual stress, and we’d rather ignore them altogether.

•    We’ve moved and aren’t near all the people who made the holidays so special.

•    Someone we shared the holidays with is no longer with us, whether a loved one who’s gone or kids who are grown.

•    Holidays have just become too commercial and have lost much of their meaning.

•    And so on.

Regardless what anyone else thinks or says, I believe we owe it to ourselves to find a few quiet moments and get honest.  What are the emotions that the holidays are bringing up?  Whatever they are, instead of stuffing them down and pretending everything’s perfect … let them rise and recognize them.

And once you’re real clear about what’s going on inside you, identify that as your “normal.”  Everyone’s expectations of the holidays are different.  Everyone’s memories are different.  Everyone’s everyday reality is different.

How you decide to play out that normal is up to you.  Whether you decide to conform to the wishes of the majority, or buck expectations, or create brand new traditions … whatever you choose to do, there is no right or wrong.

Just be sure to give yourself the gift of honesty and clarity.  However you play it on the outside, make sure to play it with integrity on the inside.  Acknowledge your feelings.  Remember, whatever it is … it’s your normal.

Happy holidays!

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

If you’d rather listen, click here:

Savings Accounts Secret Weapon

Three separate clients of mine were almost giddy this week as they talked about their savings accounts.

What they didn’t know was that having them open a savings account is one of my two little secrets to shifting how they look at money … and themselves.

Truth is, not that long ago they were each facing different combinations of paralyzing debt, inability to focus on work, major procrastination, out-of-kilter income and outflow, denial, uncontrolled spending and other destructive money behaviors.

Opening a savings account?

Sounds petty, I know, but it’s not.  And it doesn’t even matter how much or how little is in the account.  There is something magical about putting some funds aside in your name.  Maybe it’s a sign that you’re taking care of yourself.  Maybe it answers a deep question about deserving.  Whatever it is, it’s the cause of a major shift in virtually everybody’s behavior and attitude towards money.

And once the account is open, what typically happens is that spending plans are revisited to see if there isn’t more cash that can be squeezed out to add to the savings.  In fact, online accounts are best because they make it easy to make transfers in.  (And, not to worry, you’ll be surprised at how resistant you are to transferring it back out.)

The holidays are almost here, and the last thing you’re thinking of is opening a savings account.  However, year-end resolutions might be percolating in the back of your mind.  And we know how long those last.

So I propose something different for this year:  instead of making New Year’s resolutions about losing a few pounds or getting up an hour early so you’re not late to everything, make yourself a gift instead.

Scrounge up whatever money you can find, even if it’s just loose change around the house, and open an account in your name.  Better yet, if someone happens to say, “Hey, what would you like for Christmas this year?” … say, “I’d love money instead of a gift.  I’m opening a savings account so I can start having peace of mind this coming year.  And I’d love for you to have a hand in it.”

Because you do deserve that peace of mind.  And this little secret is the most powerful thing you can do to take the first step in that direction.

So here’s to your peace of mind, Savings Buddy!

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women. She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

Would you rather just listen?  Click here:

Audio: Talking About Debt

Dateline:  Miami, FL, 2001

“I have good credit.  I can just put it on my cards …” I said.

That’s how I justified the poor behavior of my six foreign business partners.  They refused to help make up for their government’s decision to hold back the funding it promised our venture.

Somehow I thought it was okay for me to shoulder my part … and theirs … although I was a minority partner.

And then an event occurred that was outside my control – and which I could never have foreseen.  By the way, things like that do occur, no matter how well you plan.  It’s called “Life.”

In my case it was 9/11.  The economy stagnated as the world (and American business in particular) sat waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Meanwhile, two of our major clients went bankrupt, ensuring that we wouldn’t ever get paid the second half of the huge year-end orders they had placed.

It was all over.  All my cards, business and personal, were maxed out.  The business credit line was tapped.  No reserves for a hole that large in the budget.  No savings.  No Plan B.

So I know all about the dark days of debt, seeing the steady stream of bills flowing in and knowing that there’s not that much in all the checking accounts combined.

x-x-x-x-x

I tell you this tale of woe because it’s representative of what often happens when you carry debt … regardless what the details are of your specific story.

However, with changing times, how we look at debt is no longer how we were raised to look at it.  And that change has caught many people off guard.

We were told all along that there was “good debt” and “bad debt.”  Good debt was seen as an investment:  say in a house that would increase in value over time; maybe in an expensive education that would increase one’s lifetime earning capacity.

And “bad debt” was seen as anything incurred for things that devalued with time, such as consumer products, meals, and so forth.  This form of debt was (and still is) best represented by what’s carried on our credit cards.

What’s changed today?  Well, in keeping with the phrase “the good, the bad and the ugly,” almost all debt today qualifies as ugly.  (At least for those of us too unconnected to have access to the inner sanctums of Wall Street firms, mega-billionaire and market manipulator George Soros and others with insider knowledge.)

So what happened to “good debt?”  Well, the housing market is giving ample witness to the fact that it is no longer a safe and ever-increasing store of value.  Just ask the millions whose mortgages are upside down just in the U.S. – that is, they owe more than the house is worth.

Or ask the unemployed 21-year-olds holding a sheepskin diploma – whether from mid-tier schools or diploma mills – what they think their costly educations are worth now.  Granted, unemployment for those holding college degrees is lower than for most others, but a degree is no longer the guarantee of employment it once was.

Pretty ugly.

And what about “bad debt?”  Americans are taking on more and more, with a national average interest rate of 14.99% while the cost of money is down under 1%.  The huge spread results from a combination of high default rates and getting away with whatever the market can bear.

Still ugly.

And what else has shifted?  Frankly, all the foundational economic rules.  When trying to forecast how the economy will react to a particular event, there used to be logical rules.  But now, it’s hard to advise someone how fast to pay down their outstanding debt, for example.  Do they pay down cards or hold on to cash?  Since the  economic tsunami in 2008, all the government intervention in the markets – bailing out banks and corporations, printing money madly and cutting behind-closed-doors deals – means that A plus B does not equal C any more.

How long will it take for the economy to turn around?  We don’t know.  Will all the money printing result in hyperinflation?  We don’t know.  Will government continue covering all the “safety net” entitlements?  We don’t know.

So what to do?

Find where your outflow of money equals your inflow of money.  If need be, pay down debt to that point.  Or increase your income.  That balance is where you’ll find your personal point of peace of mind.

If you haven’t started scrambling yet, and you’re carrying debt, it’s time to scramble.  (And, radical as it sounds, target having a No-New-Debt holiday season.)

With the level of uncertainty the economy is demonstrating, it’s time to be financially conservative.  Do what you can to build up resources that will carry you through unexpected events.  Do extra odd jobs to bring in more money if needed to drive down debt or to set money aside.

Am I a total pessimist?  No, I’m not.  I’m not predicting a dire future because I trust that someone somewhere somehow will put on the brakes before we reach pandemonium.

But I do think we should prepare so we’re functioning from a place of peace of mind, where our judgment is sound, not panicked.  That place of peace that will allow us to benefit from any and all opportunities that cross our paths, and give us choices.

A person strapped with debt … or with a home facing foreclosure … or with a declining or at-risk income has few choices.

Don’t let that be you!

Drop me a note down below, in the comment section, and let me know if you think you’re doing everything you can to reach “peace of mind.”

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53: her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. Yet she did! Since then, with her finances completely turned around, Sharon has gone on to interview countless women.  She’s done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.

Oh, our hidden insecurities!

Prefer to listen? Click here:

Hidden Insecurities

Sometimes, even when we look confident on the outside, we’re pulled off our game by little hidden insecurities that seem so petty. Let me know if this holds true for you.

It amazes me when it happens. I mean, I travel all over the world. I talk to presidents and prime ministers of countries. In four different languages. Most of the time nothing rattles me. But sometimes I get caught off guard …

Let me tell you how it last happened.

It’s Thanksgiving Day. It’s around 2:30 and I don’t have to be at Thanksgiving dinner at my friends’ house until 6. It’ll take 45 minutes to get there, so I have to leave by 5. (I’m always 10 or15 minutes late leaving the house, whether it’s feeding the cats or checking my email one last time, so I pad my timing …).

So, I should start bathing and cleaning up at 4. I hate to rush.

That leaves an hour and a half. It’s such a gorgeous day, maybe I’ll just do a little gardening. I have ample time to cut back some branches … and maybe the big palm fronds that have covered over the water feature … they’ve grown so tall.

I always get lost in my gardening. Once the branches and fronds were cut back, I noticed the huge ferns around the banyan had exploded. Beautiful, but overwhelming. And they were actually climbing up the tree! How? Well, the Vanda orchid has sent out masses of air roots that are attaching themselves to whatever they find and creating a sort of ladder for the ferns. Okay, I’ll cut back the ferns … I should still have time.

I finally got back inside and started the water for my bath. (Yes, I love baths. My mother used to draw one for me each morning and I’ve never let go of that memory.)

While the tub filled, I decided to check the Black Friday offer I had put up with help from Tiffany Johnson (she’s great at WordPress, by the way, if you need someone …). I figured I’d just change a thing or two, maybe the images. (Can you see where this is going?)

Suddenly it was almost five. Quick, into the bathtub! In … out … dry off.

Then the doubts began.

I have put on 3 pounds this month, so I’m no longer at my nice, new low weight. I’ll have to pick a top that hides it. (As if anyone but me would notice the 3 pounds.) And I had my hair cut this week. I said, “Let’s do something radical,” and radical it is. So short, my brothers wear their hair longer, and they’re conservative types. Super short, G.I. Jane-short, like half an inch on the sides. And are my ears too big? (My brothers called me Dumbo as a kid and I slept with bubble gum behind my ears, wearing a tight headband so my ears might bend back closer to my head.) Now I kept telling myself “I have a great shaped head, so it’s okay.” But doesn’t it look a little “unfeminine?”

(Does any of this sound at all familiar?)

Well, I’ll put on more makeup than usual. I’ll wear the sexy espadrilles I bought in France recently, and my tight jeans that slim me down. Stay casual, Sharon. I put on some super expensive necklaces, stunners, from Venice, Italy. Maybe no one will focus on my hair. And I threw on a soft, sloppy white cotton top that hides all ills. And that says, “I just threw myself together to come hang out for awhile …”

Maybe I don’t have to go. Oh, but my friend Marta will be so disappointed if I don’t show up. And, besides, what am I going to eat now, I haven’t planned anything else. Sharon, it’s Thanksgiving.

Besides, I’m all made up.

I love Marta and her immediate family, but I feel awkward with their extended family and friends. Maybe I’ll just stay home.

It’s 5:45 and I cannot drive 40 miles in 15 minutes. Even if I do drive fast.

I’ll call her and say I’m on my way, but late. I’ll say they should go ahead and eat if the food’s ready. I’ll just nudge my way into a table somewhere and have a glass of wine when I get there.

I got there at 6:40 with Marta texting me … lovingly … “Chica, where ARE you???”

Imagine, I used to fly from Rio to Buenos Aires to get my hair cut. (You can bet I never said, “Let’s do something radical.”) And I’ve worked the dangerous border between Colombia and Venezuela, where they kidnap people. I take on challenges without a second thought, things many people would never even think of doing.

Yet three pounds, an overly short haircut and some perfectly nice people I don’t know are enough to turn me into Jell-O. Pull out all my insecurities.

Am I the only one? Does this happen to you? What do you think causes it?

Let me know in the comment section below.

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Bio: Sharon O’Day lost everything at age 53:  her home, her business, everything. But how could that be? She’s an expert in global finance and marketing with an MBA from the Wharton School. She has worked with governments, corporations, and individuals … yes, she was the secret “weapon,” if you will, behind many individuals in high places. But yet she did! Since then, Sharon has interviewed countless women and done extensive research to understand how that could have happened, especially with her strong knowledge of numbers and finance.

The surprising answers will be shared in her upcoming book “Money After Menopause.” Today her mission is to show as many women as possible how to become financially free for the long term, through her “Over Fifty and Financially Free” coaching programs. She has developed a step-by-step plan to get past all the obstacles that keep women broke and scared … and from reaching the financial peace of mind they so deserve.